I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
