he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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