There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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