Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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