windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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