week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
