it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
