apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
