is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
