And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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