I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
