Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
