I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
