I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
