I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
it's great music for shaving your balls
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
