You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
