He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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