I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
