Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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