Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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