there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
