Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I love having hate sex.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
