Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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