3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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