You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's rum buckets o'clock
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
