He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
