If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
