It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
