I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
