Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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