i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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