I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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