Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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