Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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