I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize