My brain says no but my pants say off.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
