I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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