I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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