That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
