Sry I called you an 8
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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