I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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