I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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