Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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