Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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