ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
