is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
