i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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