But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's never too late to be topless.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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