just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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