My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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