people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
