I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
