Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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