yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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