K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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