He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
40s are totally the cure
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
