It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
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