if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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