my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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