i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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