what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
