So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
