I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it's like iHOP with fire
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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