youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
